I’ve been asking people what sort of sayings and info they want to see on this site, and one of the major categories is philosophical Facebook quotes. I don’t mean the real philosophers, like Socrates and Aristotle – the fathers of modern thought – but more like those pseudo-science quotes that people like to babble about to each other (and I assume, put into their Facebook statuses).

Well, I’m a populist, so why not? I mean, it can’t be too hard to put some real thought into having some thinkers grace the pages of my website, however I don’t think I can resist putting sarcastic comments after each one, just for good measure. I hope you guys don’t mind!

I’m sure that if you look hard enough on the internet, you will be able to find another site with philosophical Facebook quotes on it anyway, so I’m not too worried about disappointing you! For now, copy and paste away!

Philosophical Facebook quotes

If you think you’re free, there’s no escape possible.
- But what if you’re $5 for an hour?

Don’t miss the donut by looking through the hole.
- And pray that it’s not full of jam.

You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
- But you can kill a person who is playing dead!

How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?
- And how long was it when you touched it?

If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.
- If you chase two wolves you might catch rabies.

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.
- And some use an umbrella as a weapon (like in James Bond).

The obstacle is the path.
- No, the obstacle is the overturned tanker.

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch.
- That reminds me, I have to go and see the doctor.

You cannot step into the same river twice.
- And you can’t swim in the deep end without armbands.

Ok I nearly managed to get through it without putting anything offensive, I hope that those looking for quotes for Facebook don’t think that I’m a nutcase who is hell bent on ruining their online social networking experience. I promise I’m not! If you have any other suggestions for philosophy to add to our collective Facebook status updates then please feel free to get in touch with me (leave a not in the comment) and we’ll add it to the Facebook quotes site!