It’s been a couple of days since I updated you with some more Facebook quotes, but I’ve been doing research sifting out the boring and keeping the funny, imaginative or amusing ones for people to use in their Facebook status and (almost) guarantee a reaction from your friends and contacts.

This time we’re checking out a load of different ones – don’t feel bad if your favourite quote isn’t included, just leave it in the comments and we’ll add them in the future!

Today’s Facebook quotes

47% of all statistics are worthless
- Including 100% of this one.

668: The Neighbour of the Beast.
- Who lives at 69 then?

A banker is someone who will lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and who asks for it back when it start to rain.
- A banker can easily be described by changing one letter of his name.

A bargain is something you do not need at a price you can’t resist.
- Send this one to your mother if she’s on your Facebook list!

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired.
- This joke is colddddd! Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they smell funny!

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer – it sings because it has a song.
- And a cat yells when it eats a bird.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
Unless you drop it while you’re doing it, and burn yourself and your whole house down.

That’s enough philosophy for now! If you come up with any new Facebook quotes then give me a shout in the comments and I’ll put them up next time!